Honesty In Relationship
Honesty is a key component of a healthy relationship, not only because it helps us avoid harmful breaches of trust, but because it allows us to live in reality instead of fantasy and to share this reality with another. What can we do to not only be more honest, but to promote an atmosphere of honesty around us? How can we generate a steady flow of truth-telling between ourselves and the people we love the most? Here are some essential elements to have honest relation
1. Know yourself and your intentions.
To be honest with someone else, we must know ourselves. We have to understand what we really think and feel about the world around us. Very often in life, we are either influenced by or conforming to a series of “should” imposed on us by society, particularly the culture within our family of origin. When we are true to ourselves in this way, we are better able to be honest with the people around us. We are less likely to just tell people what they want to hear or try to cover up things about ourselves of which we feel ashamed. Instead, we can be honest about who we are and what we want in a relationship.
2. Be sincere about your reactions.
Not everything we feel in a relationship will be warm and fuzzy. Yet being honest and direct with someone we love doesn’t mean we have to be hurtful or cruel. Sharing life with someone, we are bound to notice some of their negative tendencies and defenses that get in the way of our feelings of closeness and attraction. When we aren’t open with our partner about what we feel and observe, we may grow cynical or start building a case against them that actually distorts and exaggerates their flaws.
Instead of being overly critical or attacking angrily, we should aim to be vulnerable with our partner in exposing what we think and feel.
3. Be open to feedback.
Just as we should be direct with, we should be open to hearing honesty directed toward us. We should always be willing to listen to others and to see things from their point of view. What are they trying to tell us about how they are experiencing us and feeling toward us? Rather than argue every small detail, we should look for the kernel of truth in what others tell us.