Attraction is something we have for people or things and presence that are rewarding to us. Attraction can be termed as the electric magnetic force that acts between two oppositely charged bodies tending to draw them together …
We have a proximity level that we go about using in our attractions. This will allow us to select our friends and enemies that are around us. Another proximity in attraction is convenience that is rewarding, but also can be suffering in a relationship is distance, this causes a person to be less interested then if the other party was able to be with them on the time of a call..
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but is it really? What is pretty? Who decides whether someone is attractive or not? Why do we think someone is really cute but their friend is just average? There are many social factors that play into who we think is beautiful, but the majority of what attracts us to other people is deeply imbedded in our subconscious psyche.
Sometimes we act boring because we are afraid of being seen as “weird” or “different”. So we have the same mind-numbingly boring social script of “What do you do?” and “Where are you from?” We don’t share how we really feel. We tend to hide our quirks and try to fit in. But you know what? It’s dull and unattractive.
Once someone has the basics of food and shelter, all they want is to feel cherished, valued and worthy. And this helps us know what people find attractive. We turn people on when we fulfill their desire to be important.
How to be attractive verbally:
- Ask questions about what they find important.
- Push their ideas a step further. Ask why and how more than what and when.
- Commit to total engagement. I’m totally calling you out on your fake trip to the bathroom, pretending to check your very important email or looking over their head as you talk to them to see who might be more interesting. Stop it! I promise, engaging will make you both interested and interesting.
You can also be attractive Non verbally.
- Keep your toes pointed towards the person speaking. I know this seems silly but our brains pick up on people’s foot direction and use it to gauge interest. As you are listening to someone, you can make them feel valued by keeping your toes and torso pointed at them as they speak!
- Use a triple nod. People will speak 3 to 4 times longer if you do three slow nods in a row when they have finished speaking. It’s like a nonverbal “… “So, when someone finishes their statement, look them in the eye and nod three times as if to say, “Keep going.”
Attraction isn’t only about looks. It’s about a certain primal magnetism. Of course, we can be physically attracted to someone, but we are more often drawn to their confidence, passion and personality.
Being attractive is about more than just appearance.
( International Trainer, Motivator & Coach
Edexcel Level – 4 Btec Professional Award ( UK)
ITOL Diploma in Coaching Excellence (UK) )