Listening is not built in us from birth; it is an art we have to develop in ourselves…
Hello everyone once again warm welcome to all my dear blog readers.
Are you a listener? Which type of listener are you? Active listener or deactivated listener? Active listening is a style of our personality which represents us among other people.
Active listening is a communication skill. It is a way of listening closely to what a person has to say. It is done by giving the person your full attention. You show interest and appreciation for his thoughts and concerns. You commit to him by letting him speak without interrupting. Active listening lets you show your respect, support, and concern for the other person. Active listening promotes trust between you and the other person. You become a companion as you listen to his views.
Active listening is being present and alert during an interaction, with the ability to repeat back your understanding of what has been said by another. Active listening allows the person with whom you are engaged to know, that you have heard and understand what they’ve communicated. Sometimes well-educated people also behave like deactivated listeners…
I have one example…
There was once a learned businessman Mr. Parekh. He was very intelligent. One day he was travelling by train to Hyderabad. One fraud LIC agent came & sat beside Mr. Parekh. After passing few stations the agent started talking to Mr. Parekh. Generally, Mr. Parekh denied talking with strangers during travelling. But, he started talking to him & shared all his information to him. The fraud agent was very clever in his profession so he applied his clichéd ideas on him to dupe that person. So, he kept his fraud LIC scheme proposal in front of him. And Mr. Parekh also agreed to invest in his scheme. The agent told him to invest his fifty thousand to get a chance for WORLD TOUR… Mr. Parekh got impressed by his scheme & agreed to invest.
So the agent shared his number to Mr. Parekh. After few weeks Mr. Parekh sent money to that agent. Agent told him to wait for five days for tour results to be announced. But even after 10 days that agent didn’t called him back. When Mr. Parekh called that fraud to inquire about his investment, he told that “I told “You may get a CHANCE but didn’t COMMIT that surely you will get a WORLD TOUR… So, you lose your fifty thousand …’’
So, this incident shows that why active listening is needed …
If you would like to become a more active listener, there are concrete steps you can take to improve your attention span and discipline yourself. These three actions alone will force you to spend more time processing what you are hearing and will demonstrate to the other party that you are genuinely making an effort to be fully engaged.
1) Don’t respond until you have all the information.
In a typical conversation, we may feel compelled to complete the speaker’s thoughts or to start speaking as soon as you understand the gist of what’s being said. When we respond too quickly, we may appear to be interrupting. Inadvertently, we may be signaling that we feel the speaker’s ideas and thoughts are less valuable than our own. When we listen actively, attentively, we will be processing what’s been said instead of racing ahead with our own input.
2) Focus on what’s different instead of focusing on what’s familiar.
One trap we commonly fall into as listeners is that we hear something familiar and pounce on it. By doing so, we risk taking the conversation in a different direction than the speaker intended. We may also sound like we are engaging in competitive conversation, trying to match the speaker point-for-point or “one up” the speaker’s statements. A “me too!” response can wait. While you wait to comment on what’s familiar, listen closely for what’s different.
3) Encourage the speaker
Without intending to, we discourage people who are speaking. If we aren’t making eye contact, continue to multi-task when someone is speaking, put on the fake listening behaviors that show up as misplaced nods and delayed reactions, or appear to be rushed or bored, people who are speaking to us will feel discouraged and perhaps even minimized. By deliberating planning to encourage the speaker, we will exhibit different behaviors
Active listening is all about building rapport, understanding & trust.
“You hearing me is not the same as me feeling heard. ’’
( International Trainer, Motivator & Coach
Edexcel Level – 4 Btec Professional Award ( UK)
ITOL Diploma in Coaching Excellence (UK) )